It's Personal

I just saw this one and couldn't wait to get home and write about it! Pacific Rim people, let's go!

Here's the thing, if you're a kid at heart and love you some action, run, don't walk to see this film! Think Power Rangers meets Independence Day and you get the sequel to Cloverfield. Say what?!?! Yes, I'm serious. This movie was so, so, so, so, so, sooo much fun! 

Here's the deal kids; an Alien race begins sending these Godzilla/Cloverfield-type creatures through a dimensional portal at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean and these bad boys (and girls) come to shore and make a big ole mess; we're talkin' like, of Man of Steel proportions. After wasting countless rounds of ammo to destroy these things, military forces from every country (we're all friends now) get together and decide the fastest and least amount of damage creating (cough-not really-cough) way, is to build giant robots that are capable of throwing down mano-a-mano with the invading badasses. 

Sure the dialog wasn't what one would describe as mentally stimulating, but you get the gist of the plot and the movie moves along at a nice pace to keep you entertained the entire time. Charlie Day even provides us with a little comedy as he plays an adorable scientist who helps figure out how to defeat these alien intruders. The action and visuals were absolutely fantastic though and if you get the chance to see it in IMAX (like I did), you'll appreciate it even more. 

It would make me extremely happy if you all went out and saw this. I'm serious, I hope to see it again, it was that enjoyable. I haven't seen I film I can honestly say was such a good time in quite awhile. Which, when you think about the fact that the entire movie is based on Earth's destruction, is a pretty weird feeling to walk away with, but still, you'll understand when you see it. 

Pacific Rim-go see it! Seriously, stop reading this and go now!

For my Minions

Hooray! Despicable Me 2 is finally here!! And my loves, get excited! It's PACKED with minions!!! Weeee!

Despicable Me 2:

 

Gru is back and he's turned over a new leaf! No longer bent on taking over the world, the family man has started his own line of jams and jellies and is perfectly content making nice with his girls and the minions.

 

Unfortunately, as the old saying goes, Gru tried to get out, but they pulled him back in. Kristen Wiig joins the cast as Lucy, a secret agent for the Anti-Villain League and their mission is to recruit former "bad guys" to help them solve major crimes. At first, Gru wants nothing to do with the group, but he comes to like Lucy and, with a little coaxing from the girls, agrees to work for The AVL.

 

If you liked the first film this is one you'll be very happy with. Again, there's also WAY more minions and, yes, the rumors are true-they're coming out with a Minions movie!!! Get excited you little scamps! Minions 2014!

For Your Consideration

I've got two for the boys and one for the kid in us all. The Hangover III, Fast and Furious 6 (or Fast 6 if you're cool) and Epic. All were enjoyable but none were really amazing. Do I think you should see them? Read on and find out ;)

 

The Hangover: Part III:

 

The boys are back and just as crazy as ever! I was excited about this one purely because Zach Galifinakis can do no wrong and I'll see anything he's in. My man John Goodman is also in this flick so you know there was no way in hell I'd miss it but thankfully, this final installment in the beloved frat-boy franchise was a lot of fun. 

It still wasn't as great as the first movie but it was by far and away better than the second so, still a win. Of the three, this one had the most action and the least amount of outrageousness but again, very much one you should see. While it featured the usual suspects, this film was about about Ken Jeong's character, Leslie Chow. We find him in a Vietnamese (I think) prison. He escapes and John Goodman's character comes after the boys and orders them to help him track Chow down. Poor Doug is kidnapped again but at least this time we know where he is and what has to be done to get him back. Find Leslie Chow! 

 

The movie then gets all kinds of crazy as per usual and the boys end up back in Vegas where it all began. 

Again, nothing will ever be as good as the first film, but I enjoyed this one too. Check it out if you've got the time. 

The Fast & Furious 6:

I'll be honest with you, I've only seen two of the previous films in this franchise. Maybe that doesn't make me an authority but let's be honest, much like the Die Hard franchise, these Fast films are pretty much all based off of the same formula. We drive cars and steal stuff, the authorities try to shut us down, someone usually dies, we get revenge and give audiences crazy chase scenes that are unrealistic in every possible way. You're welcome Hollywood. 

It was entertaining, don't get me wrong here; but it wasn't anything we haven't seen before. Maybe we get some new cars, a few new characters (they have to replace the ones that died in the last movie), but nothing more. The stories are different, you know, we need new reasons to seek revenge, but again, really not so different that each movie demands to be seen. 

Don't be upset if you miss any, there's going to be 12 in all (as of right now anyway) and Fast 7 is already underway. And I'll see them all eventually-especially 7, my boyfriend Jason Statham is going be playing the baddy in the next one so get excited for that! So if you enjoyed any of the other Fast films (I'll understand if you didn't-Paul Walker and Tyrese? Yuck!) you'll really like this installment.  

Epic:

This one was interesting because I wasn't super stoked to see it but I didn't have any reason to not want to check it out. It's full of stars and the storyline reminds me of Fern Gully, which I loved as a kid. So what's the problem?

Well, here's the thing; Epic, wasn't overly, well, epic. It was a good enough kid friendly film, but it really wasn't anything special. I actually saw it twice and still left feeling "meh" about it. 

 

It had it's funny moments, it had it's serious moments, there was a good amount of action and the story moved along at a fairly decent pace. It just wasn't all that and a bag of chips like other kid's films. It didn't even deliver a "we need to be nice to the planet" message like Fern Gully had. It was basically a bunch of little forest soldiers flying around and protecting the plants from an evil army bent on killing everything. 

 

That was part of the problem too: the bad guys had no real goal. Let's kill everything. Okay.... then what? It just didn't really make sense. And again, while it was full of stars, the only entertaining characters were a slug played by Aziz Ansari and a snail played by Chris O'Dowd. Beyonce, Steven Tyler, Colin Farrell, Pitbull, Jason Sudeikis, Amanda Seyfried, Josh Hutcherson  and Christoph Waltz. There were all there. But not one of their characters stood out and gave you a reason to want to see it again. 

Now, if they made a sequel based on the snail and the slug, that would be something I'd gladly see over and over again. They were a hoot and were the main reasons I wanted to see the film in the first place.

So, did I like it? Yup. Was it epic? Sadly no. Should you see it? Meh, your call.

The Impossible

So, so much to say here! I've got two action films, a flick for the tweens and a movie for everyone to chat about today. Let's get started!

 

Man of Steel:

 

 

I refused to see any attempt at a Superman flick after the Reeve era had ended. It just wasn't right you know? But I saw the trailers for this one and said to myself "hotdamn Lizz, this looks bananas" so I broke my own rule and went to check this sucker out.

 

Whoa people, just whoa. They done did my favorite super hero right! Yes, there is always some bitchy complaint any supernerd could make, but overall, this was one hell of a movie. I mean this puppy was EPIC!

 

I'm normally not a fan of Russell Crowe, but boy did Jor-El justice in this role. And I don't know what's going on, but Kevin Costner is stepping up his acting game like crazy these days. I've never been so impressed by two baby-daddys before! Nice work boys!

 

Unfortunately, no matter how great this film was, they still can't manage to make Lois Lane likable. Girlfriend annoys the hell out of me. I don't know if anyone else feels this way, but I just cannot stand the character. I suppose the fact that every actress that has ever played her has kept me feeling this way, is a testament to their ability to portray her in such an annoying way. Nice job ladies.

 

Regardless, this movie was action packed and stacked, I mean holy crap, they done broke a ton of stuff! They made Armageddon and Independence Day look like home improvement shows. For realz.

 

If you like classic comic book stories, action on an epic scale and big, big movies, this is one for you! I will say, if you're a girl who isn't a fan of loud noises, explosions and a shit-ton of destruction, you might want to skip this one. However, you do get images like this:

 

 

I'm just sayin', if you saw White House Down for Channing, you might want to see this one for Henry :)

 

Go see it!

 

 

World War Z:

 

 

I'll admit, I wanted nothing to do with this film. I love Brad Pitt and all, but Brad Pitt and Zombies? No sir. No.

 

It just didn't make any sense. But, being the good movie reviewer that I am, I sucked it up, got my ticket and strapped in for what I thought would be a ride to Crapsville.

 

Thankfully I was dead wrong. While there is a ton of action, this isn't an action movie. Brad is the hero but he isn't some undefeatable warrior, he isn't even the smartest guy in the room. He just happens to be the guy they need to get the smartest guy to where he needs to be to cure the world of this zombie epidemic.

 

It was very interesting to see an actual realistic portrayal of what would happen should the world suddenly become overrun with zombies. It's not like a horror film. There aren't abandoned streets or days of eternal darkness. It's a real world scenario. People are doing a lot of things in the name of self preservation and sometimes, there just ain't enough room on the boat for everybody.

 

It definitely had a very I am Legand vibe in the sense that the film ends before the zombie apocalypse is taken care of. They know what they need to do, but we don't get to see how well everyone has recovered once the "cure" is handed out.

 

If you're one of the millions of folks (myself excluded obviously) who saw the trailers for this one and said "holy shitsnacks I need to see that!", then moving my friends, this is one film you won't want to miss!

 

The Bling Ring:

 

 

It's always very difficult to review a film based on a true story. How can one review something that actually took place? "Oh I just hated the diary of Anne Frank...." See? Can't really do it... So we're stuck having to review the actors and how the story was told, not the story itself.

 

The Bling Ring is about a group of spoiled California tweens who sit around being bored and vapid. One gal has an appetite for thievery and spends her free time roaming her neighborhood, checking for any open cars parked along the street and stealing any goodies she might find within. She then "discovered" that a neighbor of hers had left a sliding patio door unlocked when they left for vacation and helped herself to some of their designer goodies-even taking one of the luxury cars they left behind out for a spin. She's a real gem ain't she?

 

After boring herself with this activity, she enlists the help of the "new kid" at school and together they "Google" celebrities addresses and start busting into their mansions whenever one is out of town. When I explain this to people, I'm constantly asked "well how did they know the celebrities were out of town?" Duh people, check your TMZ's and your BuzzFeed's more often.... Celebrities are constantly tweeting their whereabouts and a lot of them make a good chunk of change by traveling around the world for various appearances. You want to find out when Paris Hilton is going to be out of the country? Simply sign up for Google Alerts about her and you can pretty much gain access to her weekly schedule. It's pretty ridiculous.

 

So after these two start breaking into these celebrity homes, Paris' being the first, they of course start bragging to their "besties" about it and the whole gang decides they want to share in the fun. They then go on to commit robberies at the homes of Orlando Bloom, Lindsay Lohan, Rachel Bilson, Audrina Patridge and Megan Fox. They end up breaking into Paris' house a record 8 times but since girlfriend has so much damn stuff, she doesn't notice she's been robbed for quite some time. And, not to say she's to blame but, sister left the key under the mat apparently so....yeah...duh.......

 

The young thieves were eventually found out and sentenced to jail time (California tween/mini celebrity jail time, so like a month) but because they were all just so terrible in their magazine and television interviews following their sentencing, someone thought it would be a good idea to make a film about them. Paris was actually cool and let Sofia shoot in her actual house. I say actually cool, but when you see her house you'll realize she's just as vapid as those who stole from her.

 

So all in all, I enjoyed watching the film and leaving feeling completely disgusted with the youth of America, which, I'm assuming, was the goal. I was also very pleased with the young actors and actresses who portrayed these horrible members of society in the appropriate light. Film nerd fun factoid: This is the first film Emma Watson has been in that wasn't adapted from a book.

 

The Bling Ring, it was good to check out once if you've never heard of the story. But is it one you'll want to keep on the shelf of your entertainment center? I don't believe so.

 

Monsters University:

 

I wish I could properly express my love of Mike Wazowski. But you can never really express true adoration completely now can you? If there were ever an animated character I wish truly existed, it's ole one-eye. Especially in Monster's U.

 

If you liked the first film (if you don't, go to hell, seriously, what's wrong with you?) you're going to be extremely pleased with this one. Firstly, we start off seeing Mikey as an elementary schooler. Did you read that?!?! Mike Wazowski in elementary school!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sooooooo cute!!!

 

Seriously!!!! Look at himmm!!!!!!!! Could you just die?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!

 

And we discover how his character ends up becoming interested in attending MU. Shoot to a few years later, and we follow Mike along on his journey as a Freshman at one of the top "Scarer" schools in the country. He meets a jokey-type monster by the name of James Sullivan and the two become rather competitive with one another. I'm not going to give any of the fun away, but if you want to see how two monsters who start off not getting along, become the best of friends, go check out Monsters U. If you have kids, don't be a dick, bring them along! You'll be glad you did :)

 

I will admit, the basic moral of the story is, college isn't important and if you want something bad enough, you'll get it. Both aren't exactly true, but it's wrapped up in a nice, kid friendly package so I'm sure it'll go unnoticed to a lot of audiences. Regardless, go see it, Pixar can pretty much do no wrong.... 

 

I Need an Explaination

This week I was fortunate enough to be able to check out Kevin Hart's stand up special, Let Me Explain. I was extremely excited to check this out and ended up going with my dear friend Miss Carol and we had a blasty blast!

What I was not looking forward to checking out, was Gore Verbinski's The Lone Ranger. But check it out I did, let's see how it was shall we?

But first, Kevin Hart: Let Me Explain:

I'll admit, it's kind of silly to pay to watch someone do stand up on the silver screen when it's a lot better to see it in person or, if you're a cheapskate like me, wait for it to come to Comedy Central and watch it for free, repeatedly.

But we love us some Kevin Hart and thought it would be nice to make a night of it and share some laughs. I'm so glad we did-it was hysterical! I've seen some of his movies, I've seen episodes of his show The Real Husbands of Hollywood, but I don't think I've ever caught any of his standup stuff and for all of his showboating, the man really is an absolute delight. We were in stitches by the end of the "movie" and my dear Miss Carol kept saying, "He's crazy Lizz..." in between laughs.

I will say I thought the special started off kind of slow and there was a montage in which we're taken around the world to see Kevin's performances in different countries which really wasn't necessary or funny if I'm honest. But all in all, it was really good. It's a nice summer time special and if you enjoy anything Kevin has done, you should check this out. 

Sigh, The Lone Ranger:

After seeing World War Z and White House Down, I was feeling a little better about watching The Lone Ranger. I thought all three films looked terrible and the first two really surprised me so I was hopeful. 

Well, two out of three ain't bad....

My real issue with The Lone Ranger right from jumpstreet, was the idea that Johnny Depp was really trying to play a convincing Comanche warrior. Now I understand the filmmakers were looking to stick to The Lone Ranger's television show-campiness, but you're really telling me Johnny Depp is going to play a Native American, and everyone should be alright with that? I don't know about you, but when I was watching his clips in the trailers, I was really insulted. The performance is completely disrespectful to the Native American people and I seriously cannot believe Disney felt this was alright to put in a "kids" movie. I was actually hoping his Tonto was going to be like the "Indian" in Last of the Mohegans: a white kid raised by natives but still, and the end of the day, a white man that's sympathetic to the Native plight. Sadly, no. His "injun" was a complete mockery and I was cringing throughout the entire film. What made matters worse was the fact that they tried to write Tonto's character like he was Jack Sparrow. An oddball, making goofy faces and saying goofy things while also somehow, sobering up and acting like a badass at the appropriate times. Nothing, I repeat, nothing about his character worked for me. 

But let's not tear up Johnny too bad, he enjoys making these movies, enjoys taking on a different character and genuinely likes making films for kids. Here's the thing though, this isn't a kids movie. It's Disney's attempt at cashing in on a classic franchise and making it kid friendly. But they missed the mark, by a lot. Firstly, the bad guy has cannibalistic tendencies and enjoys eating the hearts of his victims. Yup, it's a kids movie. Oh, and there's also scenes in a brothel and implications that the bad guys plan to rape the damsel in distress. Not to mention the first hour was a complete snoozefest. I literally heard snoring from someone in the front row, no, I really did. Nicely done Disney.

So to summarize, this "action" movie is a confused, campy, pile of crap. The filmmakers were so focused on cashing in on Johnny and The Lone Ranger franchise, that they completely missed the mark on delivering a  quality movie. Was it an action film? A kids movie? A comedy? A western? No. It was unsuccessfully all of those things making it, successfully, one super shitty (and racist) film. 

Please do not spend a dime on this. Go watch Pirates another 50 times, you'll thank me later. But if you don't believe me, here's a conversation I overheard two 12 year old girls having as they left the theater:

Between giggles:

"OMG, That was so stupid. It's funny because it was so stupid. I'm laughing because it was so stupid."

"That movie was so bad"

There's your audience Disney, nice job.

Surprise!

This review is a joy to write! I cannot wait to tell you folks about the two movies I just caught this week. White House Down and The Heat were awesome! Let's review!

White House Down:

I know I said nice things about Olympus Has Fallen in my review. I also talked a load of crap about this movie after seeing the trailers for it over and over again. But wow-I can't believe how wrong I was!

This film makes Olympus Has Fallen look like a sissy! I mean amature hour son! White House Down was full of action, none of the corniness that Olympus showered us with (seriously-cheeseball ridiculousness) and a ton of eye candy so girlfriends won't mind catching an action flick with their guys. 

I wanted nothing to do with this one because the trailers made it look like more a comedy then it was and also made Jamie Foxx's President seem as though we'd be getting an African American George Bush type-character. I was not thrilled after seeing the trailers repeatedly. Plus, we just had Olympus, what do we need this for?

I now ask you, what did we need Olympus for? I mean I know it's unfair to compare the two, and had they come out a year or two apart, I may not compare them at all. But damn, it is what it is and White House Down has come out on top. Oh, and James Woods is in it! James Woods! They don't even mention him in the trailers! What?!

Go see it :)

And now to bring The Heat:

This is one of those films that makes me really happy. You wait and wait and wait and keep seeing trailer and preview after trailer and preview. Ever clip and commercial makes you laugh and there anticipation and excitement build until it's finally here. And the best part? It doesn't disappoint!!!

I waited six months for this baby to come to theaters and I am happy to report it was completely worth the wait! Just as funny as the trailers would have you believe and thankfully, full of even more laughs and gags not shown in commercials! You will not stop laughing throughout this whole film. 

Melissa McCarthy is brilliant as always and Sandra Bullock delivers the same great performance you expect in everything she does. They are wonderful together and you will want to see this movie over and over again. 

I'll tell you right now, it was funnier than Identity Thief, so if you liked that one, you will absolutely pee your pants when you check this one out! It is NOT for children though! Please believe me when I say this. Melissa McCarthy does not deliver a single line that does not contain an "F" bomb. If you'd like your children to develop the most colorful vocabulary ever heard since, well, talking to me at work, then okay, let them see this one. But if you think the grown up words should be left to the grown ups, leave the kids at home. 

But definitely go see it. I'm serious, go right now!

The End is Nigh

This might be the easiest review I'll ever write. What can you say about a movie this enjoyable? Let's see, shall we?

This is the End:

Is it a guys movie? Sure is. Is it crude and something frat boys around the globe will quote until the end of time? You bet. Did I like it and do I recommend it? You're damn straight!

Please understand me, this is a fun summer time movie. There's nothing complicated about it, nothing that will cause you to sit back and analyze the direction your life is headed in; this movie was created by a group of friends whose main goal is to provide entertainment, pure and simple. 

It is absolutely full of dick jokes, curse words, weird sexual innuendo, drugs and booze. It's not the Hangover by any means, but it will make you laugh just as hard. If you're super conservative and don't find any of the films these actors have been in before amusing in anyway, please stay far away from this movie! It is not for you. It is for people with a sense of humor who can let themselves go for a night and just enjoy the cinematic piece of work in front of them. 

Get out there and laugh your faces off people!

Last Chance

This might be the most excited I've ever been to review a set of films! I LOVED both of these so much, I actually just returned from seeing them both for the second time! 

We'll go in order, let's chat about The Purge:

I'll start right away by saying, don't let the poster mislead you, this one isn't scary. It's a thriller for sure, but not anything that'll give you nightmares. I would know too, I'm not good with scary movies and I volunteered to see this one again! A friend of mine (shout out to Sean Walsh!) was lucky enough to get the chance to interview the producer of this (and a billion others) film, Jason Blum. Homeboy is from Watertown so you know he's cool-Connecticut represent! Needless to say, I was pretty jazzed about checking this one out after listening to the interview. The concept alone should be reason enough to get fans in theater seats.

Imagine an America where unemployment is down to 1%; where crime is virtually non-existent; people just go around living their lives in peace. Only there's one tiny catch. For twelve hours a year, folks can run amok in the streets and commit all manner of crimes-completely free from punishment. 

Doesn't sound so bad right? Let's give you a moment to think about that though, read the sentence again and then try and picture those 12 hours in your mind. 

Does it sound as banana-grams to you as it does to me?

What would you do in that kind of situation? Would you spend the entire year thinking about who did you wrong? Who you might exact revenge upon and how? Or would you spend the year reflecting on the best way to keep out of the line of fire? Maybe buy a plane ticket to another country for the weekend? Beef up your security system? It's only 12 hours, one night during the year, how bad could it be?

This film focuses on a single family and their night of terror. Ethan Hawke plays the patriarch, Mr. James Sandin, a security systems salesman who makes serious bank keeping folks safe. He has a loving wife, a young son and a teenage daughter. They live in a ginormous house in a well-to-do neighborhood and, for all intents and purposes, are very happy. 

They've lived through each Purge night locked up all nice and tight in their home, their shiny steal-walled fortress (#1 in Sales!) keeping them safe from harm. However, on this night, James' son Charlie sees a man in the homes security footage, running through their quiet little neighborhood. The man looks to be in trouble and appears injured. Feeling conflicted about what to do, Charlie turns on the audio for the security feed and hear's the mans desperate cries for help, there are people after him and he needs to get to safety. He decides the right thing to do is help this man in need. He deactivates the security system, lifts the steal gates from around the house and lets the stranger inside. 

Now I'm going to be mean and not tell you anything more. You should see this and find out what happens, cause it's pretty awesome. I won't go crazy and say this is the greatest movie of all time, it definitely isn't and our boy Charlie? Yeah, I wanted to murder that kid myself by the end of the film-dude is the classic moron, I'm talkin' boy didn't do a damn thing right the whole time!-but I liked it all just the same.

he best part I think, is the concept itself. I really have not been able to stop thinking about it. Just what would you do? And how did we get to that point? How bad were things before that we, as a Nation, came to this? The movie makes reference to the "New Founding Fathers", the ones who decided this was the way things were going to be from now on; I'm really hoping there's a prequel so we can find out just how all of this unfolded. I'm positive there will be a sequel for sure, but the subject is so broad, it could literally go in any direction. 

The Pruge, check it out and "Release the Beast" my friends :)

And now for something completely different. The Internship:

Classic Vaughn and Wilson! These two are back and just as adorable as ever! 

In this sweet little comedy we find Owen and Vince out of a job and looking for something new and different. They were out of luck and their prospects weren't looking too promising. Vince literally "Googles" Google and finds there's a chance they could land a sweet internship at the happiest workplace on Earth. Do either of them know a damned thing about computers? Nope. Do they have clue one about what's "hip" and "modern" and "in" at the moment? Nope. Are they deterred? Not in the slightest baby! Let's go to Google!

I'll tell you right now, this movie is completely predictable, you know everything's going to turn out alright, but you'll still see it because as always, this is a Vaughn and Wilson home run! A great summertime movie, this one is extremely cute and will make you smile. Go see it!

Now You Don't

This week I got the chance to check out two films that couldn't be more different from one another: After Earth and Now You See Me. After Earth looked interesting, as one friend described it "The Pursuit of Happyness in the future", but I, like most movie-goers, was on the fence about it. 

The trailer for Now You See Me however, had me super giddy-I could not wait to check this one out. 

Let's get this one over with, After Earth:

The more I heard about this film, the more I was dreading the idea of seeing it. I love Will Smith, I can't think of a single film he's ever done that has disappointed, I wanted nothing but continued success for him and his son Jaden. 

But After Earth just couldn't deliver. It was cold and stifled. Being a futuristic film, it was obviously beautifully made, but the visuals could not save it. 

The story goes like this; Earth was abandoned a long ass time ago. The human race found a new planet to park ourselves on and, uh-oh, there's already a race of super ugly, meany aliens living on it. Humans, being awesome like we are, said, hey we need to live here. So of course we battled these guys and eventually took over. Before winning the war however, we learned these aliens could only hunt us by scent, they could smell the pheromones created from our fear. Will Smith is a super soldier who learns how to completely mask or ignore his fear, "ghosting" as they call it, and he becomes a legend. Unfortunately, this legendary reputation causes a rift between himself and his son. The son enrolls in a training program for young military recruits as a means of trying to please his father and gain some attention. 

Will comes home from a mission and learns Jaden has failed to move up in his training program, his wifey suggests he bring his son along with him on his next trip in the hopes that they might reconnect. Great idea mom. 

Unfortunately, the ship they're traveling in hits an asteroid field and is torn to bits, causing it to crash land on an unknown planet. Will and Jaden are the only two to survive however, both of Will's legs are broken. The ship broke in two and the only hope they have for rescue, lies in a distress beacon located at the tail of their ship, over 100 kilometers away from where they are. 

It is now Jaden's chance to prove himself and save them both. They have crash landed on Earth and our planet is crazy ya'll! The temperature fluctuates dramatically almost without warning and all of the animals have reverted back to their prehistoric sizes and natures. 

Oh yeah, and because this is an M. Night Shyamalan directed production, there's a crazy alien on the loose that they just happened to be transporting on the ship that crashed (of course that sucker survived too), awesome!

So Jaden, an untrained civilian who previously failed his military training course, is now responsible for finding the beacon and rescuing them before they both die. 

This movie had a lot. Unfortunately, it didn't have enough. I liked the visuals, I liked the idea of the story and all, but it just didn't deliver at the end of the day. There was no warm and fuzzy feeling once everything was said and done, and this is a Will Smith production! Can you believe it? I walked away from a Will Smith movie feeling "meh", such a shame! It was a father/son story and there was no "aww" moment, there were no tears to be shed. NO WARM AND FUZZY! Mr. Smith, I WANT my warm and fuzzy!

I hate giving bad reviews and while I didn't hate this one, I wouldn't suggest anyone pay to view it. If it's on HBO or something, go for it. But don't bother with RedBox I'm telling you, it can wait. 

Now for the pick-me-up, Now You See Me:

Hooray!! This one was a ton of fun! Full of stars and jam-packed with awesomeness, Now You See Me is the definition of Summer Blockbuster. This film totally makes up for the magical let down that was Burt Wonderstone. If you want some razzle dazzle and a rush of action and suspense, this is one to see! 

Mark Ruffalo plays a big time detective that is pulled away from a major case because a group of Vegas magicians reportedly robbed a bank in Paris during one of their performances. 

He interviews the four, comprised of Woody Harrelson, a mind reader; Isla Fischer, an escape artist; Jesse Eisenberg, a card counter; and Dave Franco, a pick pocket. Mark can't get them to talk and he can't figure out how they could have robbed a bank in Paris while performing on stage in Vegas at the exact same time. Here comes Morgan Freeman. Mr. F plays a former magician who now debunks past and present magic acts for a very popular television series-he basically makes money off of exposing other people's tricks. He helps walk Mark through the illusion that was the bank robbery and also provides hints as to what the group might attempt to do next. 

I don;t want to give anything away so I'm going to stop here. Let me just tell you, this movie is an absolute thrill ride and a boat-load of fun! Please, do yourself a favor and check this one out! Far warning, it's one you can't fall asleep while watching, you need to pay attention-not Memento attention, but you need to be able to follow it throughout. Go, go now!

Infamous

This week I saw two films. One I knew nothing about and hadn't even heard of. The other I knew all too well and was not looking forward to seeing, I'll be honest. The Iceman featuring Michael Shannon and Winona Ryder is up first:

As I said, this one was a complete surprise. A friend mentioned he was going to check it out and I tagged along because I was curious. You're telling me Winona Ryder made something new and I have never heard a thing about it? Let's see where this goes.

This year is all about true, shocking stories. The Iceman is no exception. Again, i knew nothing about the story and was blown away to learn it all really happened once the credits rolled. 

Michael Shannon plays a man with a troubled past. He meets Winona Ryder, an innocent church-going gal, and does everything in his power to hide from her, the man he really is. They get married, have children and live normal lives. 

Only, when Mike leaves the house, he goes off to kill people. 

He started off as an editor working on illegal pornography flicks and when the mob decided to shut down his business, he started working for them as a contract killer. He's really good at what he does and doesn't seem conflicted about any of the jobs he carries out. He makes a ton of money and keeps his wife happy so she tries not to question what he does everyday at the "office".

Unfortunately, Mike's boss runs into some trouble and he shuts down all jobs until further notice. This leaves Mike with a lot of time on his hands and he starts to get a little fidgety. He needs an outlet, without one, his relationship with his family gets a little rocky. So Mike decides to start taking on some side jobs which his boss is not too happy about. 

The family is threatened and one of his daughters is actually attacked. Mike is more paranoid than ever and his wife blames him (rightfully so) for the destruction of their perfect lives. I won't give away the ending, but considering there's a film about it now, I think you can draw your own conclusions as to what happens to our hitman in the end. 

Not being a huge fan of Michael or Winona, I must say, their performances were fantastic! If you like suspense, if you like mob films, if you like a super surprising cast (David Schwimmer where the fuck have you been?!), you'll want to see The Iceman. Again, it's based on a true story but thankfully, the writers don't treat the main character like a hero as they did with Pain & Gain. You should check it out if you get the chance. 

Now for the one we all know and, most of us, love:

Ah yes, Gatsby, The Great Gatsby. Baz Luhrmann sure does know how to make a movie! Like Les Mis, if you know and love this story, you will be extremely pleased with this one. If you're like me, and hate the book, you'll at least be pleased with the overall quality of the movie. 

The writers did an excellent job sticking to the story. The visuals were amazing. The actors were fantastic. But I still hate the story. 

I wish I could say more about it but the above statement pretty much sums it up. I think you should see it regardless of your feelings about the book-the film really is gorgeous.

Go, boldly

Happy Birthday to me! Star Trek: Into Darkness is finally here!

Say what you want about the direction J.J. Abrams is taking the franchise-the film was excellent! 

I know folks get touchy when their beloved stories' formula is altered, but let's move on people. We all complain that Hollywood isn't doing anything original, so why do we then get mad when someone comes in and tries to keep our dreams alive? 

This movie had everything Trek fans crave. Action, adventure, suspense, comedy, love, dedication, revenge and the ever powerful urge to always do good for one another. 

Did the writers take the characters in a different direction then you would expect? Yes. Did they also try and keep in line with the storyline from the past while still keeping it fresh and original? Yes, absolutely! 

The hard part for true fans, is the fact that the writers are using characters they love and putting them in situations they feel they might not have been in. What everyone needs to realize is, they are in fact the same characters but, the storyline-the timeline-the world that is Trek has changed for a new generation. If you accept this, you can view each film with a smile on your face. If you can't move on, you're going to tear everyone of these movies apart and that's a damn shame. 

I wish I could give you a synopsis of the film but it would just be too tough without including some spoilers and I really want you guys to see it. Like, really really. You may not like sci-fi, you may not be a trekkie, but if you love movies and can appreciate a film that is brilliantly and so obviously made with love and passion, you have no reason to miss this. 

Can't wait to see it again!

Hi, my name is:

This was a big weekend for me. All three films that I got to see were ones that I was seriously looking forward to checking out. As usual, I'm going to go through them in the order I saw them. Let's start with the big boy:

Iron Man 3:

I feel silly even writing about this one if I'm honest. It's freakin' Iron Man. Is it amazing? Yes. Should you see it? You mean to tell me you haven't seen it yet?!?! Yes. See it. More than once. Bring your mom like I did, she'll love it. Robert Downey Jr. is awesome as usual. Don Cheadle kicks ass and is tougher in this film than I'd ever seen him before. Ben Kingsley was incredible as always and his role is one you will not see coming. Wait, that was his line from the movie in fact, awesome. 

What can I say? Please, see it. And if you haven't seen the first two Iron Man flicks, or Avengers for that matter-WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?! 

Here's one that will surprise you, Pain & Gain:

You'll see the trailers and you'll think this is going to be one bananas comedy. You are correct, however, the film itself is based on a true story that you simply will never believe. Mark Wahlberg is brilliant in his role of this crime dramas "mastermind", Daniel Lugo, who decides he's had enough of this minimum wage, paycheck to paycheck lifestyle, and recruits his friends from his local gym to help him kidnap and steal from one of his clients. Dwayne Johnson and  Tony Shalhoub are starring in roles the likes of which we have never seen and they were positively amazing. 

I won't go into too much detail, but I can guarantee you, you'll never believe something so insane could actually have happened. Furthermore, you'll wonder how such a comedy of errors turned roller coaster of crime could have taken place without any serious public attention. Honestly, how did no one know about this?! It's actually pretty horrible when you sit back and think about it. 

A group of roided out meatheads decide to steal from the rich. However, they have no idea what they're doing and end up killing two people and ruining countless people's lives. Sure, the movie makes light of it by focusing on how supremely stupid the bad guys were but let's keep it real. People actually died. 

I'd like to tell you to see the film because the actors' performances really were crazy but I feel like I'm encouraging ya'll to laugh at other people's tragedy. Puts me in a real moral bind...

Mud:

I saw the trailer for this film and was instantly hooked. The performances looked incredible and I was really excited to see Matthew McConaughey once again, doing what he does and acting his arse off. Matt plays a drifter named Mud who comes back to his hometown after being on the run for a few years. Mud is in love with Juniper, played by Reese Witherspoon and we come to find he was on the run because he killed a man who was hurting her. 

Two local boys, played by Tye Sheridan and Jacob Lofland, discover Mud hiding out on an island in the middle of the river and they become friendly with him and try to help him get out of town. It's not the fastest paced film out there right now, but it's definitely one I'd suggest you see. Those two boys are going places-they were absolutely incredible. If they never act again, it'd be a real shame. Watch the trailer, you can a small taste of their talents in a 30 second clip that will explain it all. Those boys should be extremely proud of their performances, just fantastic, I can't say enough about them. I was extremely impressed!

Go see Mud!

Very Effective

Today I got to check out two great, yet completely different films. Tom Cruise's latest, Oblivion, which received mixed reviews, and Robert Redford's, The Company You Keep, which you probably haven't heard of at all. 

I enjoyed both immensely, but I could understand why audiences had issue with certain aspects of each film. Let's start with Oblivion:

I didn't know what to think when I saw the trailers for this one. Sure, it looks epic and mysterious, but it also left me feeling like it was just another version of Total Recall. 

Then I see it, and within the first thirty minutes, I just kept saying to myself, "Total Recall. Total Recall. Total Recall." But it wasn't. It was actually Total Recall meets 2001: A Space Odyssey meets Independence Day meets The Matrix. Confusing enough for you? 

Thankfully the film itself wasn't very confusing, but it did take awhile for audiences to understand exactly what the endgame in all of this was. The director for this one was also responsible for the Tron: Legacy so you can expect nothing less than a beautiful production.The visuals were stunning and, for the most part, pretty original. The story unfortunately was not, unless you consider combining four (or more, tell me if you can think of any others if you see it) classic Sci-Fi films into one to be groundbreaking.  

We find Earth has been destroyed and all of it's inhabitants evacuated. We got into some turf-war with some pretty badass aliens and used our own nukes on our own planet as a last resort. It did the trick, the aliens left, but that meant we had to as well. Oh, and the moon's gone, sad face. (it actually looked super badass all cut up to shreds in the sky, just sayin')

We moved on to a planet, okay moon, Saturn's moon; that will sustain us, however we still need water, or at least more water than our new moon/planet has. So we erected giant water treatment facilities to extract and purify Earth's sea water (how do you make water non-radioactive? I don't do science...) and we need a small group of folks to monitor these giant machines. I'm sorry, did I say small group? Yeah, I meant two people.... I know, now that I'm explaining this the plot seems to be getting thinner and thinner. Stay with me. 

There are supposedly a group of rogue aliens still inhabiting the planet's surface and trying to screw with our nice clean water treatment plants. So our guys, again, only two of them, one who doesn't even leave the "house", are charged with keeping these huge ass Brita Filters in space safe from a small alien militia. 

Well, our hero, Mr. "I Jump on Couches" Cruise, ends up getting captured by this naughty militia and things just go bananas from there. 

I wish I could go into further detail but I really hate spoilers and am trying uber hard to tell you everything but holy geez, I'm not selling this one well at all am I? All I can really say at this point is, I liked the movie overall. Yes, there was a lot of stuff that didn't add up; yes, you can blatantly see the influence of the above mentioned classic films in this one epic production which, if you ask me, is kind of a bummer; but yes it is visually stunning and yes, Mr. "I'm almost too short for action films but make it work somehow" Cruise has once again shown us why we still pay to see his stuff, his own personal craziness aside. 

I want to tell you to see it, I really do. I just don't want you to hold it against me if you hate it. I'm a very forgiving soul so I can look past the plot holes, and I did see it in IMAX which might have helped "shiny up" the bad bits. So this one you have to decide for yourself. Keep funding Tom's shoe-lift fund, or wait for it to hit HBO, or whatever downloading program you use to steal things.

And now for one I'm pretty sure you won't see:

Well, unless you're older, no offense you silver foxes. 

I wanted to see this one after seeing the trailer once. I like every actor in it and I enjoy stories like this. And seriously, it's Robert Redford in front of and behind the camera, sweetheart can do no wrong. 

Everything starts off pretty normal in this film. Susan Sarandon is standing in her kitchen, waiting for her kids to set off for school and her husband to rush off to work. She takes her ID and credit card out of her wallet and leaves. She stops to fill her car with gas and is suddenly surrounded by FBI SUVs and arrested for murder?! Hold on, what?!?!?! Now you're interested right?

Turns out girlfriend was a part of some young radical group in the 70s that believed starting a war at home would give the government cause to stop the war overseas in Vietnam. Interesting plan; only while committing one of their terrorist acts (robbing a bank), a cop is shot and killed. The group then scatters and each member goes into hiding for the next 30 years. Then Sarandon is captured and the film kicks into high gear (okay not true, it's not a Bourne film or anything) and the search for the remaining members of the group begins. You see, Sarandon ain't no snitch and won't help the Feds lock up her pals. But here comes Shia LeBeouf! 

Shia is a young, arrogant writer for a two-bit local paper and he begins looking into the case. He discovers Sarandon was actually on her way to turn herself in when the Feds capture her and he can't help but question  how they knew where to find her after 30 years of hiding. He begins his own investigation and the story begins to unfold.  

Again, I won't give anything away, but as Shia gets deeper and deeper into what really happened, his character begins to change his opinion about everything. At first this was just a big story he got lucky with but in the end he learns way more than he ever expected and has to figure out exactly what he'll do with all of this new and damaging information.

Don't get me wrong, the film isn't about Shia, it's about the radical group. Redford was marked as a member and person of interest in the murder investigation and while Shia is trying to track him down, he's busy trying to get the band back together, so to speak.  

I liked this film a lot. It played out kind of like Argo in fact. It was slow and not very suspenseful; but the drama of the story itself was something that keeps you interested. You never knew exactly how it would end and I like that. It did actually end just as I hoped it would but that's not to say it wasn't entertaining. 

If you enjoy Redford's films then you'll like this one. If you're looking for some action adventure type picture, this one isn't going to be for you. 

Big surprise!

I just saw The Big Wedding and couldn't wait to get home and tell all ya'll about it! What a surprise!! I knew this movie would have it's funny moments but I did not expect to laugh so much as I did! It was positively hysterical!

The all star cast worked beautifully together and every laugh, every joke, every physical comedic bit was for lack of a better word, perfect! I'm sad to see that it's being panned left and right by critics. I'll say the concept is definitely "out there" but all in all, it's one you'll really enjoy. Okay, folks over 25 will really enjoy. I don't think any tweens will get a kick out of this one like I did but when they're "older" they'll pick it up and laugh just as much, I'm sure of it. 

The film is about an unconventional family coming together for a wedding. The parents are divorced and the father (Robert De Niro) has been happily living with his ex wife's (Diane Keaton) best friend (Susan Sarandon) for the past decade. They have two children (Topher Grace and Katherine Heigl) and one adopted son (Ben Barnes). The adopted son is the lucky groom-to-be and has invited his biological mother and sister to the wedding. His mother is from Columbia and extremely traditional. She does not believe in divorce and in order to impress and appease her beliefs, the son convinces his parents to pretend they are still happily married for the weekend. Naturally, comedy ensues. 

While it is a comedy, we find the overall family dynamic is very tense and full of unfinished business. Thankfully, that portion of the film doesn't get too heavy, there's always a laugh to keep things light. I would say this one is definitely more comedy then drama.

I am recommending this to anyone who appreciates a good movie who's sole intent is to provide entertainment if nothing else. You aren't going to walk away with any new outlooks on life, but you'll walk away smiling and that's what really matter sometimes isn't it?

Check it out, and bring your folks, they'll love it.