2015: Year in Review

I know I didn't post at all this year, for this I apologize. That doesn't mean, however that I've stopped seeing movies. The problem, dear readers, is I see so many on a regular basis, I simply haven't had the time to sit down and review each film.


I've checked in at the movie theater 79 times this year and have seen over 100 films. You're doing the math and it doesn't make sense. Well, that's because occasionally I'll see up to 5 films in a single day and then when you consider how many films I've seen multiple times, 100+ becomes a fairly reasonable estimate. I average about 8 films per month but in some cases, will see every film currently playing at the box office that week. For example, I'm seeing 10 films this week alone.


I thought I'd take a look back and what 2015 has given us and have chosen to write brief reviews on the films I've given a full 5 stars to and also those who have received less then 3 stars. I try not to be overly critical about films, I rate them based on a wide variety of things. And considering how many genres of film there are available, obviously I can't rate everyone equally across the board. I try to be nice and remember that most of you see movies in the theater once every month or even once every six months. Or in the case of my cousin, once every decade.  So if you think my reviews are soft, understand, I'm writing for everyone; all tastes, all fans. Yes, there are some films that I love that you will truly hate, that's just the nature of things.


So, with that in mind and in no particular order, here are my top films from 2015:

Avengers: Age of Ultron

Age of Adeline

Jurassic World

Inside Out

Trainwreck

Mr. Holmes

Souhpaw

Man from U.N.C.L.E

Straight Outta Compton

American Sniper

Kingsman: The Secret Service

McFarland, USA

Furious 7

Fury

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay I & II

Paddington

The Theory of Everything

Penguins

When the Game Stands Tall

Grandma

The Martian

Sicario

Spotlight

Secret in Their Eyes

The 33

Brooklyn

Paddington

Woman in Gold

Trumbo

Creed

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Remember, dear readers, I rate films on a number of different things. Do they give you the feels? Do they give you chills? Are they visually stimulating? Do they shock you? How's the acting? How's the story presented? And the writing, is it any good?

Each of these films falls short in one of those categories, they do. But I watched each of these films and left the theater thinking, "Man, I can't wait to see that again!" In most cases, I went back a second time. In the case of the Avengers and Jurassic World, 5 times.

Now, sadly, there always has to be a worst list too. These films received less than three stars from me:

Fantastic 4

(I'm showing the trailer simply because it's better then the actual film)

Exodus: Gods & Kings

The Seventh Son

Hell & Back

Jem & the Holograms

I'm telling you right now, don't even bother seeing these. I'm serious, you're going to want those two hours of your life back.

Here's to an incredible 2016!

Happy watching!

We're the Millers

I'm going to be 30 this year and I think that has a direct correlation with how I've been reviewing films lately. Everyone that has seen We're the Millers has absolutely loved it. Someone even referred to it as THE comedy of 2013. And I just, I just don't agree.

Sure, I liked it, but did I feel it was THE comedy of the year?! No. Sorry, nope. I find myself unable to tell you why I feel that way though. It made me laugh, had a great cast who worked well together; but it just didn't get me there.

Jason Sudeikis plays a 30-something degenerate who makes his living selling pot and doing odd jobs for people. He has no family, no real friends, and isn't liked by the majority of his neighbors. His pot supply is given to him by an old friend with a lot of money and one night, everything he has is stolen. Now his rich friend tells him he either has to pay for the pot that was stolen (knowing full well that Sudeikis doesn't have that kind of cash) or, must get himself to Mexico and smuggle more pot into the US. 

Jason decides that the only way he'll be able to get through the US border patrol, is to pretend he was vacationing in an RV with his family. He recruits some of his neighbors that are just as desperate for cash as he is to play his fake family and together they set off for Mexico. As you can imagine, hilarity ensues. The gang find themselves on a crazy road trip in which everything can and does go wrong. 

Again, I thought this one was funny for sure. But it wasn't one I needed to see again right away, nor was it one I felt I needed to tell everyone I knew to go see. I think it might have been just a touch on the goofy side and that's what turned me off slightly. It's very much like a Vince Vaughn/Owen Wilson film. It'll make you feel good, but it won't be your favorite comedy at the end of the day. At least, I don't think so.  

Soup to Nuts

I caught three films that were full of big actors. Red 2, R.I.P.D. and Girl Most Likely. It was fun seeing Red 2 and R.I.P.D. on the same day because Mary Louise Parker was in both but played very different roles. I just get a kick out of that kind of thing :) 

Let's begin.

Red 2:

The same awesome collection of badasses are back in this one and this time they've brought Catherine Zeta-Jones, Anthony Hopkins, and Byung-hun Lee with them! I can't say this one was as entertaining as the first but that doesn't mean you shouldn't check it out. I watch these movies and observe the awesomeness that is Helen Mirren and I really hope she and Judi Dench do something incredible together soon. They would be the greatest duo of assassin sisters ever! And as happy as I was to see another Bruce Willis film, I really couldn't watch these movies without Helen, she is such a kick ass chick! 

Anyways, let's get to the actual review. Once again we find Frank (Willis) trying to ease into his retirement and live the simple life. However his girlfriend, played by Mary, is looking for a little excitement. Thankfully John Malkovich drops in to tell Frank that he's being set up and that "they're coming". Frank of course thinks John is being crazy and paranoid as always and carries on with his day. Then John's car explodes. Hmm, well maybe there's something going on afterall...

Apparently Anthony Hopkins' character created an insanely dangerous bomb back in the 70s which was conveniently stolen and hidden and for some reason, Frank and the gang are being blamed for it. Now Frank has to find Anthony and locate the bomb so it can be destroyed and clear his name. The crew heads to Russia where they believe the bomb to be hidden and that's where they meet up with Catherine's character who just so happens to have a little history with Frank. Uh oh...

I'm going to once again stop here so as to not give too much away. Just know it's an awesome movie and that you should find the time to check it out. You'll be glad you did. 

R.I.P.D.:

Ryan Reynolds is dead. Don't worry, he comes back as a spiritual cop in R.I.P.D. It's his job, along with his partner, played by Jeff Bridges, to capture demons who stay on Earth and send them back to the hell dimension from which they came. Sounds pretty straight forward right? Well it is. At least, until they find out that Kevin Bacon is one of these hell demons and he's found an old relic that can keep these demons on Earth permanently. Aw crap. It's on. 

This one is super funny and extremely well made. It's based off a comic book series so if you enjoy reading stories before seeing them brought to life on the big screen, go look up the series. I won't say this movie is one you need to run right out and see, but it was pretty entertaining and definitely a good summer flick. Personally, I hate seeing Kevin playing a bad guy, it just bums me out-he's so awesome! Can't he just dance and smile and be the sweetheart that he is in every movie? Or am I typecasting again? :/

Girl Most Likely:

I went into the theater knowing nothing about this film. I like Kristen Wiig and was intrigued to see what kind of story she'd present us with. Plus, I haven't seen Matt Dillon in anything recently and I totally love him. He had a small role in this one, playing Annette Bening's boy-toy; but his character was a key part of the overall story nonetheless.

Kristen's character is a playwright who won a writing grant in college and moved to NYC. She was originally from the Jersey Shore area and positively loathed everything about her life there. She was in a lengthy relationship with a guy who suddenly leaves her and the movie begins with her character trying to win him back. Unfortunately she decides faking a suicide attempt would be the way to get his attention and instead of winning him back, finds herself in a mental institution. She is placed in the custody of her mother and winds up right back in Jersey where it all began.

Everyone keeps asking her about her playwriting and she confesses that she hasn't written a thing since becoming an NY socialite. She got so wrapped up in the lifestyle trying to distance herself as much as possible from home, that she pretty much gave up on the thing that got her there in the first place. Now Kristen is single, unemployed and essentially under house arrest with her kooky mother, her mother's odd-ball boyfriend, her simple but sweet brother and a complete stranger her mother rents a room to. She spends the rest of the film trying to get back to NYC all while attempting to convince everyone around her that she isn't crazy.

I can't say this is a movie that everyone would enjoy but it was pretty cute. It was quirky, very tongue-in-cheek but not one I can say you'd watch over and over. 

Paranoia

Here's the thing about Paranoia, there is no paranoia in the entire film! It's like that Alanis, song Ironic. The irony, dear Alanis, is there is not one example of irony in the whole damned song!

There was no psychosomatic episodes, no one was placed in an institution or put under surveillance. Frankly, I wouldn't even classify this one as a psychological thriller, or a thriller of any kind. 

I won't say I hated the film because I truly didn't. Unfortunately I can't say I feel anything for it at all. It's filled with amazing actors and I can't for the life of me understand why they agreed to do this movie in the first place. It's just, nothing. 

It's pretty much the battle between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates. Completely insignificant to the rest of us,  insanely dramatic and important to the two of them...oh and there's guns and the threat of killing the people you love, there's also that. 

But aside from that this film is completely predictable. 

It was Magneto against Professor X only, you really don't like either guy and there's no insanely cool super powers to distract the audience.

One billionaire has a grudge against another billionaire and they decide to use some naive young buck to screw the other one over. I bet you can't guess what happens in the end!

Did you guess that the precocious youngster turns the tables on them both? Aww drat you're too smart for me! 

The one nice thing about this movie was the fact that it practically flew by; it's the type of film that feels like it was all of ten minutes long. Now again, I didn't hate it, I simply have no feelings about it at all. I like the actors, I liked the acting, it was the plot and structure of the film itself that left oh so much to be desired. 

I mean Christ, you're talking about a film that pits Han Solo against Zorg! Give me something-please!

Oh and Richard Dreyfuss was in it too! Mr. Holland's Opus people! And still, nothing. Not a damned thing. Such a shame. I can't help but feel like all of the actors involved used this movie as a warm up. You know, how bands have rehearsals and sound checks; Harrison and Gary must have read the script and thought, "Yeah, I guess I could do with a nice stretch between blockbusters." Hey now, a paycheck is a paycheck am I right?

In summary, didn't hate it. Totally predictable. Awesome cast. Pretty computer/gadget flashiness. Not one you'll ever need to see again or ad to your personal collection.

I look at films like this as another notch on the 'ol movie belt, I can say I saw it and move on. 

It's Personal

I just saw this one and couldn't wait to get home and write about it! Pacific Rim people, let's go!

Here's the thing, if you're a kid at heart and love you some action, run, don't walk to see this film! Think Power Rangers meets Independence Day and you get the sequel to Cloverfield. Say what?!?! Yes, I'm serious. This movie was so, so, so, so, so, sooo much fun! 

Here's the deal kids; an Alien race begins sending these Godzilla/Cloverfield-type creatures through a dimensional portal at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean and these bad boys (and girls) come to shore and make a big ole mess; we're talkin' like, of Man of Steel proportions. After wasting countless rounds of ammo to destroy these things, military forces from every country (we're all friends now) get together and decide the fastest and least amount of damage creating (cough-not really-cough) way, is to build giant robots that are capable of throwing down mano-a-mano with the invading badasses. 

Sure the dialog wasn't what one would describe as mentally stimulating, but you get the gist of the plot and the movie moves along at a nice pace to keep you entertained the entire time. Charlie Day even provides us with a little comedy as he plays an adorable scientist who helps figure out how to defeat these alien intruders. The action and visuals were absolutely fantastic though and if you get the chance to see it in IMAX (like I did), you'll appreciate it even more. 

It would make me extremely happy if you all went out and saw this. I'm serious, I hope to see it again, it was that enjoyable. I haven't seen I film I can honestly say was such a good time in quite awhile. Which, when you think about the fact that the entire movie is based on Earth's destruction, is a pretty weird feeling to walk away with, but still, you'll understand when you see it. 

Pacific Rim-go see it! Seriously, stop reading this and go now!

For my Minions

Hooray! Despicable Me 2 is finally here!! And my loves, get excited! It's PACKED with minions!!! Weeee!

Despicable Me 2:

 

Gru is back and he's turned over a new leaf! No longer bent on taking over the world, the family man has started his own line of jams and jellies and is perfectly content making nice with his girls and the minions.

 

Unfortunately, as the old saying goes, Gru tried to get out, but they pulled him back in. Kristen Wiig joins the cast as Lucy, a secret agent for the Anti-Villain League and their mission is to recruit former "bad guys" to help them solve major crimes. At first, Gru wants nothing to do with the group, but he comes to like Lucy and, with a little coaxing from the girls, agrees to work for The AVL.

 

If you liked the first film this is one you'll be very happy with. Again, there's also WAY more minions and, yes, the rumors are true-they're coming out with a Minions movie!!! Get excited you little scamps! Minions 2014!

For Your Consideration

I've got two for the boys and one for the kid in us all. The Hangover III, Fast and Furious 6 (or Fast 6 if you're cool) and Epic. All were enjoyable but none were really amazing. Do I think you should see them? Read on and find out ;)

 

The Hangover: Part III:

 

The boys are back and just as crazy as ever! I was excited about this one purely because Zach Galifinakis can do no wrong and I'll see anything he's in. My man John Goodman is also in this flick so you know there was no way in hell I'd miss it but thankfully, this final installment in the beloved frat-boy franchise was a lot of fun. 

It still wasn't as great as the first movie but it was by far and away better than the second so, still a win. Of the three, this one had the most action and the least amount of outrageousness but again, very much one you should see. While it featured the usual suspects, this film was about about Ken Jeong's character, Leslie Chow. We find him in a Vietnamese (I think) prison. He escapes and John Goodman's character comes after the boys and orders them to help him track Chow down. Poor Doug is kidnapped again but at least this time we know where he is and what has to be done to get him back. Find Leslie Chow! 

 

The movie then gets all kinds of crazy as per usual and the boys end up back in Vegas where it all began. 

Again, nothing will ever be as good as the first film, but I enjoyed this one too. Check it out if you've got the time. 

The Fast & Furious 6:

I'll be honest with you, I've only seen two of the previous films in this franchise. Maybe that doesn't make me an authority but let's be honest, much like the Die Hard franchise, these Fast films are pretty much all based off of the same formula. We drive cars and steal stuff, the authorities try to shut us down, someone usually dies, we get revenge and give audiences crazy chase scenes that are unrealistic in every possible way. You're welcome Hollywood. 

It was entertaining, don't get me wrong here; but it wasn't anything we haven't seen before. Maybe we get some new cars, a few new characters (they have to replace the ones that died in the last movie), but nothing more. The stories are different, you know, we need new reasons to seek revenge, but again, really not so different that each movie demands to be seen. 

Don't be upset if you miss any, there's going to be 12 in all (as of right now anyway) and Fast 7 is already underway. And I'll see them all eventually-especially 7, my boyfriend Jason Statham is going be playing the baddy in the next one so get excited for that! So if you enjoyed any of the other Fast films (I'll understand if you didn't-Paul Walker and Tyrese? Yuck!) you'll really like this installment.  

Epic:

This one was interesting because I wasn't super stoked to see it but I didn't have any reason to not want to check it out. It's full of stars and the storyline reminds me of Fern Gully, which I loved as a kid. So what's the problem?

Well, here's the thing; Epic, wasn't overly, well, epic. It was a good enough kid friendly film, but it really wasn't anything special. I actually saw it twice and still left feeling "meh" about it. 

 

It had it's funny moments, it had it's serious moments, there was a good amount of action and the story moved along at a fairly decent pace. It just wasn't all that and a bag of chips like other kid's films. It didn't even deliver a "we need to be nice to the planet" message like Fern Gully had. It was basically a bunch of little forest soldiers flying around and protecting the plants from an evil army bent on killing everything. 

 

That was part of the problem too: the bad guys had no real goal. Let's kill everything. Okay.... then what? It just didn't really make sense. And again, while it was full of stars, the only entertaining characters were a slug played by Aziz Ansari and a snail played by Chris O'Dowd. Beyonce, Steven Tyler, Colin Farrell, Pitbull, Jason Sudeikis, Amanda Seyfried, Josh Hutcherson  and Christoph Waltz. There were all there. But not one of their characters stood out and gave you a reason to want to see it again. 

Now, if they made a sequel based on the snail and the slug, that would be something I'd gladly see over and over again. They were a hoot and were the main reasons I wanted to see the film in the first place.

So, did I like it? Yup. Was it epic? Sadly no. Should you see it? Meh, your call.