P & P & Z/Hail, Caesar!

Pride & Prejudice & Zombies:


Okay, you guys have GOT to see this thing! I'm going again, it was such a good time! I didn't read the book or knew anything the about the classic story it was based off of but dammit now I plan to pick up both versions. Seriously, such a blast! Much like Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, the writer did an amazing job of taking a well known story and adding in an oddball element like Zombies and making the whole damn thing work! And work well! It wasn't cheesy, it wasn't lame, it was really freaking well made and you're going to walk away smiling and hoping for a sequel. Go see it!

Hail, Caesar!:


I was so excited to see this one. I liked it but it wasn't what I expected. It was all pretty random actually. The trailer gives you the impression that it's a mystery of sorts; a famous actor gets kidnapped and you think the entire film is about trying to find him. It's not. That's certainly in there but its a strange mix of stories about all of the various characters and none of them ever really mesh together. The main character is a major executive for a movie studio and he's responsible for making sure all of the movies and their actors are perceived well by the general public. He's a baby sitter for famous adults.
The film was funny, the acting was great, but you leave with the feeling that the whole thing was just really random. And the ending was just that, an ending. There was no real climax and everything just kind of ends and you sit there watching the credits rolling and think, "huh." and that's it. I'd watch it again if a friend was interested in checking it out but it's not one I'll need to add to my collection.

The Choice

The Choice:

Another typical Nicholas Sparks story. This one was pretty predictable and at times exceptionally cheesy which wouldn't be a bad thing if the acting wasn't so mediocre. I know this all sounds very harsh so let me say, I didn't hate the film. I did however cringe at the thought of any man having to sit through this thing. Girls, don't be cruel. There are plenty of other films out there that you'll both enjoy, don't make your guy sit through this. The actors were attractive, yes, but the writing was just silly and at times made it really hard to believe there was any chemistry between the folks on screen.

I didn't read the book so I can only assume they rushed the story along so the movie didn't go past the two hour mark. If they were true to the story however, I've got some real issues. I'm not going to spoil the movie but at one point (you'll see this in the trailer), the female lead ends up in a coma and her romantic interest is, obviously, very upset and scared. Totally natural, that I get, I really do. But what pissed me off watching the thing was that the male lead pretty much neglected everyone else in his life, at least, that's the way he was portrayed. Again, don't misunderstand me, I love a good chick flick. There just wasn't enough substance in this one for me. I did cry at the appropriate times and I was hoping for a happy ending, but this is not one I'll ever need to watch again.

Dirty Grandpa/50 Shades of Black/The Finest Hours/Kung Fu Panda 3/Jane Got a Gun

Dirty Grandpa:

Let's talk about how awesome it is that Robert De Niro is doing comedies on the regular right now. Dude is funny. And the mark of a good actor is one who can perform well in various roles and genres. I mean, we already knew he was great so it's no surprise that he can appear in outlandish comedies like this one and totally kill it.

I wasn't a huge fan of this film, it was exceptionally predictable and often times ridiculous but I still laughed more often then not. I know the tweens out there will think it's brilliant what with the random drug humor and constant talk about sex and, true to form, Zach Efron walks around shirtless, like all the time.

It's funny enough that you won't be wasting your time but not one that I think you'll need to see over and over again.



50 Shades of Black:

Another predictable film from Marlon Waynes. It was funny in the way that it blatantly mocked the "stalker-esque" plot of the original 50 Shades but was still pretty goofy at the end of the day. Sometimes it was downright disgusting, taking the jokes a little too far. I like Marlon but I don't think he knows when enough is enough. Again, it was funny but I found myself being grossed out more often then not.

The Finest Hours:

I had heard this film was about what has been called the "Most Daring Rescue in U.S. Coast Guard History" but I didn't know if that meant everyone lived or everyone died and I didn't want to ruin the movie for myself by looking it up. You shouldn't either. You should go and see the film for yourself because it was great. I would like to think they stayed pretty true to the actual events because I really appreciated how the writers didn't try and give it the "Hollywood" treatment with a lot of grandiose explosions or heroic monologues. Some may find it boring without but that's what made it real for me and all the more incredible. The acting was fantastic and you genuinely feel bad for the actors (and the real people they portray) because they spend the entire movie outside in the middle of winter and 90% of the time, completely soaked to the bone. I was freezing by the time I left the theater! 

Kung Fu Panda 3:

The only issue I had with this movie was that it wasn't long enough! Once again DreamWorks has delivered a completely awesome film for all ages! I can't say enough about how much fun it was to sit in the theater for 90 minutes and watch these bright and colorful creatures come to life. Take the whole family and enjoy! 

Jane Got a Gun:

Sadly, I don't think this movie is going to get the attention it deserves. It wasn't advertised very well even though it's got a killer cast. It wasn't a big, epic blockbuster of a western that we seem to be getting lately and I think that's what I liked most about it. The storyline was decent and the suspense/action was enough to keep you engaged. The acting was pretty fantastic too. It actually reminded me of old episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer in that, 90% of the thing is about the buildup-preparing to face the bad guys, wondering how our hero's are going to get out of this seemingly impossible situation. And then, suddenly, it's just over. Not to say that that's a bad thing, just that it all gets wrapped up quickly and then the movie's over. Some audiences may love it, some may leave feeling kind of "meh" but it wasn't bad and I think most of you out there would enjoy it so check it out.

The 5th Wave/Room

The 5th Wave:


Okay, so I saw this trailer a billion times before the films release and I honestly thought it looked like total garbage. Thankfully this wasn't the case. I was actually pretty impressed at how the writing team was able to cram a crapload of story into a two hour film without (in my humble opinion) completely butchering or dumbing down the story. The characters were kind of cheesy but since I haven't read the book, am unsure as to whether it was how the actors portrayed each role or if the characters were genuinely created to act like that. As far as tween films are concerned, this is another decent one you won't mind sitting through.


I judge all tween movies on a scale from the first Twilight to Harry Potter. That's a crazy huge scale, I know, but it works. So this film is in the Vampire Academy arena for me. They have left it open for a sequel much like VA but whether we actually see one is another story. Again, not a stinker, but could probably have been better.

Room:


This was a film I was dying to see! Again, based on the best selling novel by the same name, this one was one that the box offices didn't give a shit about until it got the Oscar nod. My local theater had it running for two days, literally. And they were week days at that! Then it was gone. Thankfully my theater is one that likes to make money, and will always re-show films that have been nominated for Oscars around awards season. I was able to catch it and boy oh boy was it good! My money is on Room sweeping each of it's categories with strong competition only from The Revenant and The Martian. I'm disgusted that Jacob Tremblay didn't get nominated for his role though, he was absolutely incredible and only 9 years old! In addition to the trailer I'm going to include video from his acceptance speech at the Critics Choice awards. He is as delightful as he is talented and I expect great things from him in the future. Go see Room!!

The Conjuring, The Way Way Back & Turbo

As you guys already know, I don't do scary movies. I don't know why I agreed to see this one but I did and here we are.

I thought this one was pretty good. It did scare me. It did have some good "make you jump" moments and thankfully, it wasn't gore-y. There's a time and a place for gore and this was not a film that needed it.

I know they're planning a sequel and I can't imagine what that will entail. I will probably see it though, just to see what they do with the story. But that'll be at noon with about 10 of my closest friends and I'll make sure my roommates are home that night and I leave the light on in the hallway......Is that over the top? Don't care, I don't like scary movies!

I might be a little obsessed with this film you guys. Every time it's on I watch. Everyone was incredible. Steve Carell actually plays a bad guy and you want to reach into the screen and punch his dumb lights out. His performance is that good.  The film is about a two families coming together for a summer trip to the beach. Steve and Toni Colette are dating and decide to take their kids away on a summer vacation in an attempt to further their relationship and try to merge their two households. The kids have different personalities and social circles and spend each day trying to avoid one another as much as possible meanwhile Steve acts like a real dick and leaves Toni feeling confused and worried about their future together.

Sam Rockwell steals the entire movie though, let's just be honest here. His comedic timing and delivery are incredible and his character is exactly what's needed to keep the film light.

Sam plays the manager of a local water park who befriends and ultimately hires Toni's son for the summer. The son sees the water park and it's employees as an escape from the drama going on back at the beach house and spends as much time with all of them as he can until the season's over.

It's not a comedy but more of a coming of age story of sorts. While it is dramatic, it's not depressing, it's just about a group of folks who need to figure things out and get their shit together once and for all. And who can't relate to that?

As funny as this movie was, I would be remiss in my duties if I didn't tell you how stupid it was as well. This is the true definition of a kids movie. There's no way anything like this would ever happen in real life but you still watch because it's well made, full of amazing actors and provides a great distraction from your daily life. If you want to lose yourself in a film for a few hours and not have to think about a thing, this is one you'll want to see. Your kids will love it because it's cute and silly and full of action and bright colors and you'll suffer through multiples showings of it because it has enough hidden adult content thrown in to keep you entertained.

Basically, this is one of those films that you know big actors do so their kids will be able to watch something Mommy and Daddy made, you know what I mean?

Elysium, The Wolverine & Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters

Elysium:

Let's sling shot ourselves into the future shall we?! In Elysium, the rich have gotten sick and tired of the sick and tired's whining and ran away to their own "perfect world" in space. Thanks for nothing, Jodie Foster.....

The title of the film is also the name of this rich and vibrant world for the wealthy. Earth is a desolate wasteland where everyone works for peanuts and is treated like garbage because there simply isn't enough room or resources for us to take proper care of ourselves anymore. 

Matt Damon plays a factory worker with a record. He made some bad decisions out of desperation while growing up and is now working at a crappy job making crappy pay, just trying to get by like everyone else stuck on Earth.

Jodie Foster plays the head of ''world" security on Elysium and spends her days speaking French and drinking fancy drinks while wearing fancy clothes and jewelry. She positively loathes the people back home and is devoted to keeping all of the filthy, poor people of Earth away from her tranquil and luxurious Elysium. 

Matt Damon gets into an accident at work and is exposed to a lethal amount of radiation and told he will die in three days. Elysium has extremely badass MRI-looking machines that can clear anyone's body of literally every and all diseases-these suckers cure cancer! Where was that in your med-bay Star Trek?! 

So Matt decides he's just got to get himself up to Elysium and talks to an old contact from his trouble-making days about how he just might be able to sneak up to that world. 

This movie was full of action and super awesome futuristic visuals. I won't give everything away because once I give you the entire plot summery, I feel that it will be pretty easy for you to figure out how it ends and that's just not right. See how smart I assume all of you are? ;) 

You'll just have to see it for yourself. This one feels a little lengthy but I think you'll enjoy it regardless. Be warned though, it does get graphic so you may want to watch it before letting the kids check it out. 

The Wolverine:

I felt weird watching this one because I'm a huge fan of the franchise yet knew nothing about this story line. I don't want to say I was confused but I definitely watched the first half wondering where on Earth this story fit into the X-Men/Marvel universe. But that's just my own ignorance, nothing to do with the film itself. Which was pretty good!

I know the first Wolverine movie got a lot of crap from critics but I enjoyed that one too. The problem I did have with this film was that the bad guys seemed over the top, in a bad way. They were really exaggerated and not in a way that seemed to make any sense. The acting was a little over dramatic and some of the special effects were down right goofy which is a shame because the story  was good.

Sadly, Hugh is done with this franchise and we won't get to see any more of his Wolverine role. I'm sure they'll make more films with another actor and hopefully the delivery of those will be a little more thought out because this character is so important to the X-Men universe, it would be a shame to waste anymore opportunities to show off what Wolverine is all about.

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters:

I must confess, I haven't read this book series. I did see the first film, but I can't give you and honest comparison of the book vs. film. With that said, I felt Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters, was very enjoyable. It's lighthearted while taking on some slightly more mature subject matter. It's got love, action, comedy and features some pretty fantastic actors and how can you really go wrong with that? I don't know if they'll make any more of these since all of the actors are getting older-fast, but this one is one worth seeing, especially if you enjoyed the first film.

August: Osage County

I had a really hard time with this one. Just sitting through it was torture to be honest. I know it's full of incredible actors and don't get me wrong, they completely delivered. It's the story and the characters themselves.
I mean, the entire film is just pure misery. The story is about what happens when a hugely dysfunctional family who barely speak to one another are forced to come together over tragic circumstances. The entire film consists of these characters being nasty and cruel to one another; re-opening old wounds and uncovering even more, tragic and terrible truths about each other. And what's worse is, you really don't feel bad for any of them.
For two full hours, you're left feeling uncomfortable and cringey watching these people go at it at every given opportunity and to add insult to injury, the story doesn't even end on a happy note. You leave the theater feeling drained and wildly depressed. Again, the performances were wonderful but that actually makes things worse because it's all so real and you can't believe that people would actually treat each other like this.
I wish I could recommend it but I really don't feel right in doing so. If you do see it, make sure you call your therapist immediately after, that's all I can say.


The trailer makes the film seem like a comedy, I promise you, it isn't.